Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i think my cat just said my name.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
