dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
