It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
