Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize