She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
