Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Randomize
