for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize