What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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