She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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