You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
