im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
