Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
