I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
