I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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