Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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