It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
