His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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