okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
