I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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