there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
