On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
