So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize