first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
