I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just high enough for therapy.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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