If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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