Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
