Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
