We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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