After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
