Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
