i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
