Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
the raccoons are back...
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