if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
