That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I believe in your delicious
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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