So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
