why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize