I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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