Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize