tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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