How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
