no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
