Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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