I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize