So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
