I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
