Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
