**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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