If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
