next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
