As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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