She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
