So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize