it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize