could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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