May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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