Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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