i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
