My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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