That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
