we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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