i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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