oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
