dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
